Lunatics can stand for election
Relief for hundreds of MPs
The Houses of Parliament breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday after it was officially decreed, by ...err.. Parliament, that lunatics and idiots can, after all, run the asylum.
Historians recently discovered archaic laws that prevented "idiots and lunatics" standing for election as an MP, that had never been repealed.
A White Paper was hastily drawn up which soon became the Lunatics and Idiots Act 2007, known colloquially as "Straw's Law".
Giles Brandreth, MP for Chester 1992-1997, told Newsbeast that he was "thankful they didn't discover this before I could resign".
A spokes-hedgehog for Boris Johnson denied rumours that Mr Johnson was spearheading the campaign to allow lunatics to stay in their jobs as MPs.
Whilst the entire Labour Party declined to comment, Ming 'the Merciless' Campbell was adamant that "if it's good enough for the House of Lords, it's good enough for the House of Commons".
The original law, dating back to 1766, is rumoured to have been written in the blood of William Pitt the Elder. It also banned the "deaf and dumb" from becoming members. John Prescott's comment on that matter is not worthy of publication on this site.