Advertising banned from kids' replica shirts
"Children must not be subjected to this mind control"
AGI Insurance* have agreed that from next season, childrens' versions of Manchester United's replica football kit will not carry their logo over fears that it may encourage youngsters to take out insurance policies without independent financial advice.
A spokesperson for the Financial Services Authority told NewsBeast that there was "absolutely no proof of any link with football shirt sponsorship and mis-selling of financial products.
"But that's not going to keep to do-gooders and Daily Mail readers off our backs, so we're going to do it anyway".
In a similar vein, West Bromwich Albion junior replica kits will not carry the logo of their building society sponsorship partners. "After all" said manager Tony Mobray "we should be encouraging kids to spend their money on lager, not putting it in a savings account."
Meanwhile Bradfords Building Supplies are said to be considering removing their logo from childrens version of Yeovil Town's home kit after claims that under-age purchases of sharp sand and portland cement have doubled in the last seven years.
Next season Leeds United will be sponsored by K Bates and Co (debt) removal company.
*Names may have been changed to protect me from marauding lawyers